Spouses- Accept the challenge!
So… I’m a writer…There, I said it. I finally said it.
Wow. Those three little words took a long while to finally spit out! You see, as long as I can remember I have been telling stories in my head, coming up with plot lines, making up characters…basically talking to myself.
But, not many people ever knew this hidden character trait of mine. And truly, how could they have? My past would not give them any insight…
When I began college at 18, (also when I met my husband) I was dead set on being the next Katie Couric.
And since then my careers have been all over the place…
Early Childhood Education Teacher
Real Estate Agent
Small Business Owner
Full Time Grad Student
Stay-at-Home Mom (again)
Children’s Ministry Director
Stay-at-Home Mom (again!)
At least, I have a smorgasborg of backgrounds to pull from when it comes to my stories!
Almost a year ago, I quit my full-time job in Children’s Ministry. The main purpose was to try and tame the chaos in our family life. The endless days of trying to fit everything in had weighed heavily on us. We had no built-in downtime, especially since I worked on the weekends. But, what most people don’t know is that one reason I was unable to “cram” everything in is because on top of all the normal everyday chaos of family life, I was in the midst of writing my second book.
Now, will I ever get published? Who knows? Time will tell. But honestly, whether anyone ever reads my stories or not, this year has been amazing! Being home and writing has taught me so much about myself, my priorities (whether screwy or not), and most importantly what a truly WONDERFUL husband I have.
He lets me be me. He supported me when I wanted to be the next Katie Couric, and every dream that came afterwards. He gets up at 4:30am most mornings and goes to work ALL day (in the outside elements I might add!) so he can give us a great, spoiled life. He is unbothered by the fact it’s very possible when he leaves for the day I might type on my computer and not get anything else done around the house.
Numerous times, friends or acquaintance have asked, “Oh, you’re not working at your church anymore?”
And my husband’s the first to jump in, “Oh no, she’s a writer now. She’s written two books.”
At which time, I usually cringe, not sure I am worthy of that title. But… he thinks I am. His support feeds my soul. His love for me shown by allowing me to pursue my dream makes my heart happy daily.
This year, as his support for me has been flashing like a neon sign over my head, I’ve noticed how many people I know who do not have the support of their spouse. And I’m definitely not just talking about careers here. I’m talking everything from finances to what to pray for, their kid’s sports to family drama, how to discipline their kids to how they should school them, whether they should attend church to what constitutes too much alcohol at a party. I mean, seriously, my examples could form a long list!
And this makes me so sad…. makes my heart hurt for them, especially as I am experiencing how support from your spouse can heal so many things.
If I could just scream one thing to my loved ones, my friends and family members, it would be, “You married them, now figure out how to compromise and nurture each other!”
Society… Married couples… we have to do a better job. We have to make the decision to support our spouses. To work together and compromise. To never squelch the dreams of the ones we love.
Are you doing a good job at this? Are you supportive? Are you willing to listen to your spouse’s concerns? Or are you stubborn? Are you selfish? Are you unwilling to compromise?
As Mother’s Day and Father’s Day approach, and those of you with children figure out how to celebrate the spouse who gave you them, ask yourself these questions. If the answers to them cause you to wrinkle your nose, maybe the best gift you could give this holiday would be to make changes and answer those questions differently next year.
Accept the challenge! You can do it!